Jeff Hutcheson

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Unfortunately, right from the get-go, I knew there was a problem. This past weekend I was about to golf with a friend and his female business colleague, whom I had not met before. As I approached to meet-and-greet and say hello, there it was, plain as day. At first, you don’t know what to say, so you don’t say anything. But like a giant elephant in the room, it was clear and unavoidable. We were dealing with the dreaded spray sunscreen application gone wrong.

It took me back to my worst day at the golf course, about 10 years ago. Not ‘on’ the golf course, but ‘at’ the golf course, in a men’s room. It wasn’t pretty. Years ago I had a bout with skin cancer but all is good now. As a result, I’m super cautious about applying enough sunscreen before I set out for a prolonged period of exposure. On this occasion, I was at Glasgow Hills Golf Course and prior to the round I needed to apply sunscreen. I always use the spray kind, that way your hands don’t have a greasy feel after application, and that’s important when gripping a golf club. Like many days on PEI, it was windy, so I was looking for a sheltered place to apply. An outside area wasn’t handy.

So, I went into the clubhouse, and popped into the men’s room to do the application. I’m a serious applicator. Up and down, back and forth on the front and back of my legs, and then up and down the tops and bottoms of my arms, and then, finally, the back of my neck. That’s a lot of spray and by spraying in the men’s room, I failed to take into account a couple of things. First, the over-spray, and there is a lot. Second, the tile floor. And third, the slippery nature of my spikeless golf shoes on said tile floor.

Long story short, I put so much spray on it coated the floor and I crashed down in a heap upon taking my first step. I won’t go into the issues I had getting back up on the now slippery surface. Thank goodness I was alone. To make matters worse, I then had to go and tell staff I thought the floor in the men’s room was a little dangerous because it seemed like there was some kind of mysterious slippery element on the tile floor. I was at the first tee in seconds from there.

The bottom line is I was able to cover every sun reachable inch on my body with spray.  

This, clearly, is not what I witnessed on the weekend. The best way I can describe it is it looked like someone turned a cherry slurpee upside down on her shoulder, and her other shoulder, and possibly her leg.

On the second hole she commented on what happened. She was using spray sunscreen and must have sprayed it a little too close. The thing about applying a spray sunscreen? You have to realize it’s more like gently spray painting a chair, rather than power washing a deck. I’m pretty sure it’s a mistake you only make once.

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